Secrets can eat you up, but telling them won't always free you in the way that you expected.
Finding someone to talk to isn't always easy. Someone who you are willing to: open up to, be vulnerable with and trust. When you have experienced pain, it is hard to trust anyone. Everything just seems so temporary, especially people. Fickle might be a better word to describe it. Pessimistic but the truth.
Despite it all, I still believe that there is a freeing power in telling your story. We often suppress our experiences in order to help us to cope but I have found that after I have confided in people, it has helped me to truly express my feelings and help them to understand me a bit more.
Friendship is extremely important to me. I don't consider everyone a friend, but those that I do hold a special place in my heart. However, not all of my friends know me on the same level and I have come to learn that that is ok. There are a few who I am able to confide in and I know that God has truly placed them in my life for my own sanity.
When you have experienced any form of trauma, it is easy to shrink in to yourself, to lose your voice, courage and will. So here are four practical tips that have helped me to find my voice and keep going.
1. Understand your Story
For me, this simply meant acknowledging what has happened, how it made me feel and how it has subsequently affected me since then. Without thinking about who is to blame, it was just about making sense of it all. Rather than looking at what it was that happened as an outsider and just accepting that this is what has happened, I can't change it but I can try and change the way that it affects me from here on out.
2. Pray for Friends to Confide In
As I said earlier, all of your friends usually serve a different purpose in your life. Pray to God and ask Him to reveal friends around you that He wants to walk this recovery journey with you. Pray that He will help them to help you.
This leads on to my next point.
3. Do Not Expect Your Friends to be Your Hero
Sometimes after telling people, you expect to feel like a huge weight will be lifted off of your shoulders. You might be expecting them to give you the advice that you have been waiting for or to have all of the solutions. Remember, like you, they are also human. Make sure that you are honest and open with them. Ask them if they are able to handle it. It can be hard being the friend that people offload to. I've been in both situations so I can honestly say that it is important for you to let your friend know if you do not think you can help them. Don't be offended if this happens to be the case.
4. Seek Professional Help
Talking to a stranger about your problems sounds like the worst thing in the world and something that we'd all rather not do. But outside of your family and friendship groups, there are people who are trained to help you. Whether you need someone to just talk to or someone to help you, do not be afraid of seeking professional help. They can help you to process your experiences and help guide and navigate you through this difficult time.
Don't allow your past experiences to keep you from speaking up.
The Writers Behind the Writing
Praise Rapport is a platform committed to sharing the wonders of God in our everyday life. As sisters united in Christ, we want to use this community to share our journeys with you with the aim of encouraging you to come on this journey with us as we grow into the women that we know God wants us to be. Visit their website to find out more.