• Xiara

You Are Not Alone!

Through all of its flaws, the internet has allowed me to interact with people I never would have been able to in any other point in time. It has even the reason that I came to know about this wonderful page because of the internet. When I started to write this post, my first thought was to speak out about the amount of sexual harassment and assault many, many, women face.

No matter where you are or what you are looking at, there are so many stories about harassment. Be it Tumblr posts on consent or rage filled tweets, or people close to me confiding in me or one of my followers reaching out to me in my DMs and telling me their account of trauma and violation. It happens so much that it has sadly become normalised. As more of my followers reach out to me, I have realised that many are hoping to anonymously let this burden off their shoulders by sharing and others hoping to support other victims who feel alone.

I could get mad at the fact that so, so many people had been touched by such a disgusting violation, from rape to groping and harassment. One can get mad at any aspect of this whole issue, the fact that the rapist or harasser or abuser is more likely to be family or friends, the fact that millions of women are still afraid to speak out or simply do not have the means to do so, the fact that this happens to young girls in relationships that are too scared to leave. One aspect that really resounded with me -and I'm sure affects a lot of people too- is how many of the survivors were so carelessly written off by those they had trusted and had confidence to share their experience with. Who were told it was their fault by people that matter to them. Survivors that still think it was their fault for what they were wearing or if they were drinking or how they were acting just because their friend or parent at the time told them so.

Regardless to say these, responses can really mess people up or break them more than they already were. These responses can be very toxic -possibly just borne out of lack of understanding on the issues and impacts- and because of the effect it has on people I believe it’s up to the people who can speak out and educate people. It is also our job to support one another so I am telling you, reassuring you:

  • It was not your fault.

  • You did nothing to deserve what happened.

  • No matter how small you think the violation was, it’s valid.

  • Telling someone in your life who will understand and support you could really help relieve the burden you carry, no matter how daunting it may seem.

  • Only time and support can heal what happened. And even after, you may never fully heal. And that's okay.

  • Therapy or counselling can be a really good form of support if you're ready. Also remember you have to be honest for them to help you.

  • You deserve to get better.

You are not alone.


The Writer Behind the Writing:

Xiara aka thoseasianfangirls is extremely passionate about feminism and politics because they affect her the most. She believes there is no reason why anyone should be treated as the lesser. Despite seeming like an SJW who can't take a joke, she loves; watching comedies, eating spicy cheetos, Marvel and everything else that she yells about on her Instagram account, so be sure to click the link below and check her out!

#metoo #whyididntspeakup #sexualharassment #advice #therapy #counselling #victims